Hey guys, sorry I haven’t updated in a while! Things have been crazy. First, I discovered I have a vestigial parasitic twin. I named him Rupert of the Ages, and he gradually took control of my mind, beginning with my base motor functions. Then he developed a form of telekinesis and began randomly murdering loud neighbors in unsettling ways. I got him to stop, but he pouted and threw tantrums by setting random fires in neighboring restrooms. We called it the Burned Junk Tour ’15! LOL. Anyways, I had a special form of neurosurgery that may have cut Rupert from his comfy spot in my corpus callosum, so now I’m in the process of recovering my basic motor skills! I’ll be back to regular blog posts and feeding myself with actual utensils real soon!